One Foot in Front of the Other Through Leaves, Over Bridges

Lest anyone thinks otherwise, I am declaring here for all time: I have no idea what I am doing. I’ve managed to wake up and get out of bed almost every day for 34 years. I make decisions, I improve my life, I improve myself. I have never made a firm plan more than a few months out, even my engagement was less than a year. Changing my life on a whim is the most consistent aspect of my personality.

I’ve convinced my husband it’s time to try being expats. We are dropping everything we know, walking away from stable, well-paying jobs, our home country, our families. We have no idea what we are doing. But we are doing it. It may be taking longer than we wanted because the world had to press pause for a few months, but we’ll keep pressing forward however we can. The only way to get anywhere is to start walking.

I do not know what we will find at the end of this journey. I cannot say for certain if our marriage survives change of this magnitude, though I have no reason to suspect otherwise. I am unsure how I will make money, though I’m not opposed to doing just about any kind of work. I do not know if I will recognize myself when all is said and done. And yet everything about this adventure lights my soul on fire.

I want the risk, I need the risk. More than that, I want to pursue a path entirely of my own choosing. I’ve stumbled blindly on pre-made paths for 34 years; if I’m blind either way, why not forge my own path?

Title is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut’s short story “Long Walk to Forever” originally published in the August 1960 edition of Ladies Home Journal.